Diary Of A MadMom

Ouch

My 5 year old son's future aspiration is to become a chef. I love this fact, it's not the usual, firefighter, policeman, athlete etc etc... I love that he is outside the box. Oh and I frickin love food.

He's really into this too because he is often in the kitchen whipping up all sorts of 5 year old concoctions. I allow this, I'm not gonna hold the boy down. The thing is, is that seeing as how during the day it's only he and I here i have to be the taste tester. I usually don't mind, because remember I frickin love food. But this morning I was getting full. After a bowl of Apple Jacks/Fruit Loops mixture, a piece of bologna with cream cheese on it and a bowl of grapes, orange slices and a few bananas mixed with strawberry yogurt I had had enough. Even my bottomless pit couldn't take anymore...

So he comes to me with a ziploc baggie full of assorted cheese cubes, this is our conversation...

Me: Buddy, I'm full, momma can't eat another thing or I'll burst! Waddya tryin' to do, make me fat?

And then my dear sweet son says ever so seriously: But you already are.

OUCH....

                         

                                                   I can't be mad at that face.

I've Always Wanted To Be A Carnival Sideshow!!!

And now thanks to Rocks In My Dryer I get my chance! Woo Hooty! I have decided to join her and about a gazillion other bloggers out there in a GIVEAWAY. If you'd like to know more about it then click on this pretty little button...

  because honestly, I'm too lazy to explain it.

What am I giving away you may ask? Or you may not be, whatever. Well, being that my only talent is jewelry designing...yep, you guessed it. I will make a custom piece inspired by you, designed by me. I do Children and Adult pieces, whichever you like is up to you! Here are some examples of my work...

Child's or Adult's Angel Drop Bracelet

Child's Butterfly Bracelet

Ladies' Camo Lampwork Bracelet

Little Girl's Dainty Dragonflies bracelet

Little Girl's DREAM necklace

Child or Adult Fall Frenzy Bracelet

 

Ladies' Fire Necklace

Ladies' Berry Branch Bracelet

Child or Adult Paris Necklace

Child's Rose Necklace

Child or Adult Bracelet

Ladies' Sterling Necklace

Little Girls' Sunflower Necklace

Little Girl's Tree Hugger Necklace

Anywho, those are just a few examples of what I have done. However, I'll do whatever you like (and I don't tell people that very often!) You're demand is my command. Since this is a GIVEAWAY everything is at my expense including shipping and I will ship anywhere, I love foreigners. All you have to do is leave me a comment telling me how fantabulous I am. Ok, you don't have to say that (but it wouldn't hurt *wink wink*), but you do need to leave a comment. And be sure to check out the carnival for other great giveaways!!!

*~* Menu Plan Monday*~*

I love food. Way too much...Food is my crack...

                                     

MONDAY - Cowboy Spaghetti, garlic toast, salad (I didn't make it last week, being sick got in the way)

TUESDAY - Frozen pizza (I like to add stuff to it), veggies with dip and fruit salad

WEDNESDAY - Pioneer Woman's Spicy Roasted Chicken Legs, mac n cheese, spinach salad

THURSDAY - Grilled Cheese with Tomato Soup

FRIDAY - Lovely Leftovers

SATURDAY - Going out for our 10 year Anniversary, so my brother will be making dinner for the kids, God help them...

SUNDAY - Stuffed Peppers, mashed potatoes, salad and peach cobbler

KETCHUP

Up until recently I haven't blogged since about Aug. of 2007 (This was my favorite New Year Resolution, what other resolution allows you to sit on your arse and gab?). I realized that a bunch of my family and friends who I severely neglect read this blog (or atleast they tell me they do, prolly so I won't pull the ol' guilt trip that women in my family are so famous for). So for loved ones and perfect strangers who have been reading my blog, here's what's been going on here on my island (I mean that metaphorically and literally) since Aug. 2007...A little ketchup if you will...

Lily started 3rd grade and Savannah started 1st grade, both have received nothing but As and Bs so far...my little baby geniuses, they got that from me. See, I'm smart enough to know not to be modest about being smart. Ok, that sentence just made me dumber.

Lost another one to Zac Efron...

Our beloved cat Clyde, the ugliest yet coolest cat ever, passed away in September. She is missed greatly. Yes she, no wonder she always looked pissed, if I had been named Clyde I'd have a scowl on my face 24/7 too. My grandpa thought she was a boy, honest mistake.

But now we have a new troublesome duo...Charlie & Lola...yes like the Disney show, I must turn that tv off before I name my next child Earl in hopes that he/she might have great kharma.

Iturned DUM DUM DUM...29. I got a princess crown and a mini Reeses cup cake to make me feel better. It worked.

Oh, and a bottle of Elvis wine. Elvis is my king...

My children morphed into Spiderman, Dorothy and Barbie Princess for Halloween, all of which have not so appealing co-stars which for some odd reason bothered quite a bit. Hopefully next year I won't have a Kirsten Dunst, flying monkey and Ken...

Yes, she is wearing my birthday crown...no she did not drink as much as I did when wearing it.

I finally got glasses

We had Thanksgiving and Christmas because, sure enough, they came again last year...

In case you didn't notice, the little brunette is not my Lily, it is actually my sister Sarah, who is younger than both my daughters. Didn't I mention earlier that I had family stories that fell right out of a soap opera? Example #1...

After Thanksgiving dinner my daughter Savannah and my sister Sarah created THE BIGGEST BUBBLE BATH EVER

And then Savannah done me proud and showed me that she inherited her momma's icy "if you don't get the frick outta my face I'm gonna kill you dead" stare...the pride I felt that day was like none other I tell ya.

My cousin schooled my son on the art of carpet wrestling Christmas Eve. ahhh I love those classic Holiday Traditions.

Impatiently awaiting Santa's arrival...

Impatiently awaiting Santa's arrival over Christmas Eve dinner...

My husband and my father in law...yes, piss me off and I'll have you whacked.

Myself and my stunning 76 year old grandma, yes these are the genes that I have to look forward to....neener neener neener

And now it is January, the Buckeyes lost the Championship but my kiddos still love them. Their father and I have decided not to teach them the importance of being a sore loser atleast for a few more years...

Momma Got A New Pair of Shoes!

Ok, not really a new pair of shoes, but a new banner for my blog. Which to me is just as exciting as a new pair of shoes! Don't I look mahvelous dahling? My Uber talented friend Ingrid made it for me. If I had half of her talent and Jessica Alba's body I'd be the happiest girl on earth. Ingrid has made many templates for me along with the coolest Ebay ME  page ever. Yes, it's mine and I'm biased but it's still the coolest ever. I have never and will never go to another place for graphics, she is THE Graphic Goddess. Check her out when you get a sec... Ebay, Website and Blog.

29 Things To Do Before I Turn 30...

I mentioned earlier that I turn 30 (gulp) this year. Oct. 23 to be precise. Not so jazzed about that fact I gotta tell ya. I know, I know...30 (gulp) isn't that big of a deal but I was kinda enjoying being a "20something". Anywho, as a way to cope with turning 30 (gulp) I have decided to come up with a fantabulous list of phenomonal things I'd like to accomplish before turning 30 (gulp). A way of going out with a bang if you will...

1. Learn to play Poker

2. Become a Mystery Shopper...getting paid to shop, are you kidding? What could be more glorious?

3. Volunteer at a local pet rescue. They need help, desperately.

4. Learn how to garden! I can grow 3 babies in my belly but I can't grow one frickin vegetable!

5. Learn more yoga beyond what I have learned from my "Yoga For Dummies" DVD

6. Paint more of my walls....We live in my grandparent's house (the house I grew up in essentially, I'll save that story for another post)...it's a great old house but let's put it this way, my grandma was a fan of the wallpaper/border trend that was popular in 1992 and wood paneling that was popular in 1981...oye ve

7. Take Sunday drives every Sunday with Guido and my bambinos.

8. Attend church on a semi regular basis.

9. Educate myself on our Presidential Candidates, call me crazy but I'd like to actually know a little about who I'm voting for.

10. Learn how to make Mongolian BBQ. It's my Italian husband's favorite food. He couldn't be a normal Italian could he? And since you can't find Mongolian BBQ here in Podunk, OH I thought I'd be nice and create it for him. Me, being nice to, Him...don't blink, you'll miss it and it doesn't come around again for another 75 years. I'm Halley's Comet like that...

11. Visit a town with a funny name like Monkey's Eyebrow, AZ...Hygeine, CO...Yeehaw Junction, FL...French Lick, IN...Climax, MI or Hot Coffee, MS

12. Learn some sort of self defense, with as fabulous as I am I'm sure to have a stalker one day....right? A girl can dream.

13. Win the lottery...I said a girl can dream, RIGHT?

14. Eat lots of sushi...I don't know why, sushi just sounds really good right now.

15. Figure out a way to have pro athletes, movie stars, musicians and politicians paid less and teachers, policemen, firefighters and nurses paid more. The world would be a better and more balanced place.

16. Have a food fight...now every time any of you eat around me you'll always be on guard...as you should be....when you least expect it...yes, YOU

17. Stop arguing with my best friend over whose belly and ass is bigger and who has the most stretch marks. I mean, really, is that a competition anyone should want to win?

18. Learn how to fry bacon without having it splatter and burn me and I end up cursing like a trucker in the middle of my kitchen Sunday morning while trying to make a nice family breakfast...I digress...

19. Purge toxic people and negative influences out of my life.

20. Visit the OB for a yearly exam, TMI? Too bad. I haven't been in over 5 years, the guilt is eating at me.

21. Be a more patient mother and wife

22. Talk my family into scattering my grandparents' ashes. They are currently on my dresser in my room and I firmly believe they are haunting me!!! Another story for another post.

23. Start running...no, not running away, as much as I'd like to sometimes. Just running.

24. Bake more. I can cook like no tomorrow but oddly enough flour, sugar and fruity stuff scare the hell outta me.

25. Not be afraid to enroll my children in extracurricular activities. I'm ridiculously overprotective. I told ya'll I need Dr. Phil.

26. Cut my hair off. It's almost down to the top of my bootay...I want a bob...damn you Katie Holmes and Posh Spice...

27. Learn one new word a day and use it frequently. That way I'll kick butt at Balderdash

28. Stop trying to be someone I'm not.

29. Have my blog become super duper popular...I'm not kidding, you bettah bookmark me!!!

~~Menu Plan Monday~~

                                             

Even though I am probably THE MOST UNORGANIZED PERSON THAT EVER WALKED THE EARTH, I can proudly say that ever since I have been married (almost 10 years) I have made a meal plan. It had nothing to do with being organized, I just love food. i found a fantastic organizing blog that embraces and celebrates my one organizational skill I'm An Organizing Junkie. So every Monday I will be joining in their Menu Plan Monday.

MONDAY - Pan Seared Kielbasa, corn on the cob, crustless apple pie (fancy applesauce) and biscuits

TUESDAY - Lemon and Garlic Roast Chicken, crescent rolls and a spinach salad

WEDNESDAY - Tuna Alfredo Casserole (yes, I am blue collaring it) and Feta Pear Salad

THURSDAY - Cowboy Spaghetti, garlic toast

FRIDAY - Lovely Leftovers

SATURDAY - Sloppy Joe DiMaggios, chips and cucumber slices

SUNDAY - The Lady's Chicken Noodle Soup, Herb Cornbread

My JLo bootay got bigger just typing that out....

Stupid January

So, here I am. Again. Thanks to January and the resolutions that come with it. Beginning blogging again is actually not a resolution I mind. Hence, why it's the only one I've started so far. I missed blogging, and vow to stick with it this time, Girl Scout's Honor (and had I actually been a Girl Scout at one time in my life that might mean something.) So here are my New Year's Resolutions that actually sounded doable on Dec. 31, 2007 and automatically turned quite laughable on Jan. 1, 2008.

1. Start my blog again...(hi, how ya doin'?)

2. Read 1 book a week...I can barely read all my email in one day. Wish me luck.

3. Exercise 30 min. a day every day....my husband used to be a personal trainer, you'd think this would be an easier task for me. Nope.

4. Sit down and write Pioneer Woman and Paula Deen hate mail each and every day blaming them for my ever increasing ass size and triple chins. You devil women. Why ya gotta hurt so good?

5. Dedicate 1 hour a day to an organizing project until my house looks like Martha's.

6. Find a brand of duct tape that will actually give my children's mouths a fight.

7. Love my husband more...I married an Italian stud, you'd think that wouldn't be too hard, right? I need Dr. Phil.

8. Focus on my Jewelry Business more....I love doing it, I'm damn good at it, what's the hold up? I think I have a problem actually asking money for things that I have made. Again, Dr. Phil would come in handy.

9. Read to my children every night...yes, I'm a bad mother I don't already do this. I did but I slacked. Precious time is wasting, they're growing into obnoxious tweeinies way too fast. I must utilize this time before I find Teen Bop replacing The Velveteen Rabbit & Goodnight Moon.

10. Stop freaking about turning 30 this year and go to NYC for my 30th birthday....I think I can handle the going to NYC part ok, after all what could make you feel better about turning 30 than good food, time with family, beautiful architecture, interesting history, fattening delicious food, paparazzi and a possible celebrity sighting and hottie NYPD firefighters?

That's it. That's my Top 10. David Letterman eat your heart out.

This is my blog. I don't have electrifying pictures (yet), riveting life stories, super juicy celebrity gossip or buckets o' money to bribe you with (believe me, if I did the check would so be in the mail). But I do have cheeky comments, family members that fell out of a soap opera and a whole lot of insanity. I think I might even be going through an early life crisis, how's that for good reading? I'll grow on you like a mole you think you might want to get rid of but figure if Cindy Crawford likes hers....